Tuesday, March 10, 2009
♥ What a joke
I hate feeling helpless. Maybe it isn't as profound as feeling helpless about a relationship or about life in general, but my helplessness comes from something very superficial: school. It is all my fault obviously I do it to myself, all-nighters in an attempt to cram 8 chapters of astronomy into my head. obviously this isn't something that can't be fixed but the more i think about how it will probably take that entire 11 and a half hours I have left until the exam starts to actually get through all of the material. Obviously now I will be smarter and actually go to class.
On a dreary note, I feel like I am losing you even if it is getting better. Maybe that is how it is supposed to feel after a fight like the one we had but I just want things to be back to normal. I want to stop being so busy, I want you to have time for me like I make time for you. you are the only one I want and honestly, I've looked and there is no one out there for me but you. I am sorry for my insecurity and self-consciousness I am trying so hard to overcome my dislike for my aesthetic characteristics. I am trying not to let my opinions of my own inferiority to the other people you know get in the way and I promise I don't freak out on purpose. I need comfort from you. Only you can calm me down.
"It's getting dark we should go back
but what's the use if what you love is what you have
and I could die right now for something beautiful to take me somewhere else
Oh I try
But I can't calm down"
